Dear Coleen,

I recently ended my long-term relationship with my partner. Despite multiple reasons for the breakup, it was a challenging decision to make. Initially, he pleaded for me to stay and then tried to win me back with overwhelming affection for weeks.

After a period of silence, he has reached out again, mentioning that he is now in a new relationship but would like to remain friends. He even shared a photo of his much younger girlfriend, which stirred feelings of jealousy and made me contemplate the idea of reconciling with him.

Despite his mistreatment towards the end of our relationship, his new romance has unsettled me. I am seeking a rational perspective on this situation.

Coleen’s Response:

Your ego may be influencing your thoughts, suggesting that you could still have him back since he is already in a new relationship with a younger woman. He seems to be playing mind games to evoke jealousy in you.

It is crucial to recall the reasons for ending the relationship and question if things would truly change if you were to reunite. Chances are, he has not transformed, and you would likely face the same issues.

Furthermore, it is too early to establish a friendship, given that neither of you has had ample time to move on. Remember, you are not obligated to be friends, especially since you do not share children. Sometimes, maintaining a friendship is not the best choice.

It is probable that he has not informed his new partner about reaching out to you, and she would not appreciate being used as a means to reconnect with you. My advice is to cut off communication, ignore his messages, and consider blocking his number for your peace of mind. Stay strong and focus on moving forward; you have already taken the difficult step.