You are Johnny Depp. Your professional life — which relies heavily on the goodwill and affection that arises when people mention your name, or at least Captain Jack Sparrow’s — is mostly in ruins.

A very chaotic and highly public sequence of allegations regarding on-set assaults (which includes a settled lawsuit) and claims of domestic abuse (which you have denied), along with widely publicized defamation trials, have collectively marred your previously stellar reputation. Your most recent significant franchise role, portraying Gellert Grindelwald in the Harry Potter Fantastic Beasts series, came to an end when Warner Bros. requested your resignation after you lost a libel case against the Sun newspaper for labeling you a “wife beater.”

Since then, you have had few notable appearances. Meanwhile, years of extravagant spending sprees led you to acquire a private island and an actual French village (along with almost enough wine to intoxicate the rest of the country) and accumulate debts that rival some of the world’s most extravagant small nations.

What’s your next step?

Interestingly, for your first significant Hollywood film following the conclusion of your defamation trial against ex-partner Amber Heard (a case you largely triumphed in, with Heard required to pay you $10 million US for her abuse allegations), you have opted for Ebenezer. This is a cherished yet frequently retold narrative. For some, this choice may seem more of a public relations maneuver than an engaging film.

Upon further reflection, remaking Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol may indeed make some sense. The story of the titular, stingy Scrooge discovering the joy of Christmas and compassion for his fellow man through visits from one ghost and three spirits is set in Victorian England. Once again, you get to navigate through London’s filthy and soot-covered streets, utilizing the accent that is off-putting to the British yet somewhat convincing to North Americans, that you have honed over your career.

However, as you strut around in your meticulously worn cloaks and period hats, it might be challenging for viewers to rekindle the fond memories they once had of watching Edward Scissorhands, Sweeney Todd, or even your portrayal of Willy Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory — in your other modern adaptation. They used to admire you, didn’t they?

This promising return feels a lot like that. Can’t they find a way to appreciate you again?

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To be honest, this performance isn’t bad. With your exaggerated grimaces and exaggerated expressions, your comically wide-eyed screams and poignant, sentimental speeches draw audiences into Dickens’s classic, albeit somewhat sugary tale of transformation from bitterness to redemption.

This isn’t a standout Depp performance, nor does it possess much depth or originality. However, it resembles the kind of work you used to showcase. The quirky grin and casually humorous dialogue that underpinned blockbuster films still shines through. That must count for something, right?

You also have an impressive cast supporting you: Ian McKellen as your cautionary tale business associate Jacob Marley, Rupert Grint as your overburdened and undercompensated assistant Bob Cratchit, and Tramell Tillman as the ominous, pagan-like Ghost of Christmas Present.

Tramell Tillman, left, portrays the Ghost of Christmas Present alongside Johnny Depp’s Ebenezer Scrooge in Ebenezer. (Jaap Buitendijk/Paramount Pictures)

Each performer fulfills their role: delivering witty lines from archetypical — and inherently one-dimensional — characters. Their goal is to ensure your unlikable protagonist endures enough suffering to ultimately seem sympathetic and deserving of reintegration into society.

In fact, it’s all so familiar and characteristically Depp that audiences might half-expect Helena Bonham Carter to appear from around every shadowy, cobblestoned corner. Director Ti West (MaXXXine, Pearl, X) attempts to infuse the source material with his signature campy-horror style, but rather than the captivating genre blend akin to Tim Burton’s Scissorhands, the result is closer to a lighthearted pantomime.

There are glaring additions of clanking chains and wailing ghosts that feel directly lifted from Fleet Street’s central casting. West’s few original takes on the story seem to aim for humor but land with a heavy-handed impact. For instance, instead of Dickens’s shivering child-spirits representing “ignorance” and “want,” we encounter apparitions reminiscent of Dr. Seuss’s Thing 1 and Thing 2, screeching and scuttling along like tiny, translucent ankle-biters from the underworld.

Redemption roulette

So why did you take this route, Johnny? When you think about it, choosing this now-typical narrative instead of pursuing reinvention is quite fitting for your current needs. You are not the first celebrity actor to generate “fall from grace” headlines. In the extensive list of attempts to reclaim your status, there tends to be a common theme.

There are less successful endeavors. Take Will Smith’s painfully self-critical Emancipation, which tells the story of a man enslaved and subject to relentless brutality, with images of his whip-scarred back catalyzing the abolition of slavery. Or Kevin Spacey’s amateurish The Man Who Drew God, about a blind man wrongfully accused of child molestation. Then there’s Armie Hammer’s Citizen Vigilante and Jonathan Majors’s Run Hide Fight: Infidels — both centered on a solitary man fiercely battling perceived evildoers.

On the other hand, there are more triumphant comebacks. Winona Ryder resurfaced from her criminal record obscurity with a minor role in Black Swan, but her true re-entry into the limelight came as the selfless and dependable mother in Stranger Things. After facing a reputation for poor performances on both set and at the box office, Mickey Rourke made a (temporarily) successful comeback as the battered but courageous protagonist in The Wrestler.

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Robert Downey Jr. achieved perhaps the most remarkable comeback in history, replacing the public’s recollection of substance abuse and arrests with his portrayal of a world-saving, carefree billionaire altruist in Iron Man.

Naturally, the quality of a film doesn’t dictate whether a star is, or isn’t, a virtuous person. While not a universal truth, the formula for success is quite consistent: If you seek to restore your reputation after controversy, it’s advisable to depict yourself as the tragic victim or selfless hero (or both) in a narrative that resonates with your own experiences.

While Ebenezer may be perfectly acceptable — and as creatively stimulating as the novella’s entry on “Simple Wikipedia” — it fulfills your requirements. Grounded in a narrative that effectively evokes goodwill towards humanity, it essentially established the modern notion of Christmas generosity, what more could you possibly desire?